New Year, 28.

Although it is not January 1st 2012, it is a new year for me. My birthday was Friday and it is the start of a whole new year for me. I had an absolute blast with my friends on Friday night, eating sushi and partaking in probably 3 too many sake bombs. I had a very rough morning Saturday, and remembered how bad it feels to waste a whole day being hung over. I also had McDonald's... yuck. But it did make me feel a bit better. Laying on the couch all day affords one to think about decisions. Although I had an amazing time with my friends (and a birthday is kind of a "free pass" to indulge in whatever you will), I don't think that I want to drink again for a long while. I've decided that I am going to try not to drink alcohol until New Years Eve. Even though it is only 13 days away, it is still a little step in becoming healthier and keeping a goal. I'm heading home for the holidays and usually partake in more beer at my parents house than I do while at my own. I try not to buy beer because if it is in the house, I will drink it. But it is and extra 200 calories to tack on to a dinner or evening watching TV that I don't need. So that is one of my first mini-goals for my 28th year.

My second mini-goal, no more fast food. In 2011 I cut my fast food intake enormously. I didn't eat fast food for the first 6 months of 2011. As the year went by, I ate it a little more frequently (maybe twice a month). And this last meal with McDonald's makes me want to put an end to fast food for year 28. I don't count Subway or Togos as fast food though. I think that when on the road or for a quick meal when there are no groceries they are the best choice (just don't get soda, chips, or cookies).

This past month has been a whirlwind so far and things finally seem to be settling down. I quit my job, became single again, and am trying to get things back on track health wise. I think that I landed a long term sub job for a friend who is going on maternity leave. The prospect of steady income and actually teaching in a classroom again sounds beyond amazing. December is a month for over indulgence because of the holidays and add in my birthday and I'm in a bit of trouble. Family came down to visit last week and I didn't monitor what I was eating in the slightest. I was also sick with a cold for about 5 days between their visit and my Bday. I am still not feeling 100% and haven't been to the gym in awhile. Then my birthday calorie festival, and now I'm going to be heading home where some of my favorite foods are.

I have made a meal plan for the next 4 days (until I leave for Humboldt) with two things in mind: 1. Eating healthy and calorie count 2. Cleaning out my fridge before I leave. I am also working all four days at the brewhouse and have decided to make good choices (salad and soup) when I get off work. I am optimistic that I can keep to my plan and make good decisions back in Humboldt. I think "Moderation" is the word to live by on vacation. I am also going to try to exercise a bit while at home. And then hit the ground running when I get back to Sacramento for the new year.

I'm not counting my "hang over day after my birthday" as my first day of 28. I'm counting today as my first day of 28 and am going to make this year count in a lot of ways! :)

Productive Day

Woke up this morning to weigh in and am down 1.2 lbs. I don't know how I did it since last week was not my best week ever. But I'm glad I saw a negative number. I think that knowing I didn't have to go to the school from hell lifted about 1 pound of anxiety off of me.

Today was my first day of not working at the school from hell and I was very productive. I wrote out the gym schedules for the two gyms closest to my place and posted them on the wall near my bedroom door so when I leave the room there is no reason not to know when classes are. I also went to Trader Joe's to do some shopping for the up coming weeks. I have started taking substituting jobs and needed to make sure I had lunch food ready to go. I also am making a crockpot full of healthy tortilla soup right now for nights I don't want to cook.

I am having a friend over for dinner and plan on making us a healthy chicken parm with brown rice pasta and a salad. I have made good food choices all today and hope to keep them going!

Big Girl Decisions December

We are 4 days into December and I have already needed to make some big girl decisions.

In the first week of December, I decided to resign from my job at the school. It was a horrible excruciating decision. It was the first job I've had with benefits in 3 years. And giving that up was so difficult. I was so miserable in my position that is was effecting so many areas of my life. I haven't been wanting to go to the gym because I've been so tired, I've been eating worse, and my mental health has taken a huge downturn. When I finally made the choice that I was going to resign I slept SO well the next night. I feel as though so much weight has been lifted off of me. I think that I've lost at least 10 lbs of emotional baggage. So now I'm going back to substituting and working at the brewhouse. I'm hoping that being less stressed and less tired I will be able to have energy to go to the gym and focus on eating better again. This was a huge decision to make, but I would rather head into 2012 in a great frame of mind and with my eating/exercising back on track.

**Side note, I'm watching last weeks Biggest Loser Makeover Edition Episode, and have become emotional about the reveals to family members. Such an inspiration.**

December holds a lot of wonderful things for me. My family is coming to Sacramento next weekend, and I couldn't be happier to see them. On the 16th I'll be turning 28. I will be heading home for Christmas towards the end of the month. I feel like I have a lot of things to be thankful for.

I really want to start my 28th year of life, and 2012 off on the right foot in all aspects of my life. So here is to a new enlightened month!

Mental Health Day

Yesterday I took the day off from the gym. Work was extremely difficult and even though I knew it would probably make me feel better, I didn't go.

Instead I went and had sushi for lunch (not the worst choice, but not the best) and then came home and had a spa day. I felt a lot better mentally at the end of the night.

I know that I should have just bucked up an gone. I need to remember this feeling of regret/disappointment for next time I want to ditch out on the gym.

Keeping My Word to Myself

It is so easy for me to keep my word to other people. I will bend over backwards and give time and energy from my life to help others. But when it comes to keeping my word to myself, I am much more flexible, probably to my own detriment. But this week I am working on keeping my word to myself.

I weighed in this morning and was down .4 lbs. It's not a lot, but its something! Especially seeing as I was on vacation and wasn't really watching what I was eating back home.

Today I kept my word to myself on all fronts. I ate everything that I planned out and in the portions that I wanted. I gave up an opportunity to make a little money and spend time with my cousins (babysitting), both of which I would have loved. But I opted to pass to make time for the gym. I know that if I didn't go to the gym straight after work, the likelihood I would go would drop. So I went straight to work to the gym and jogged for 40 min burning 400 calories.

I am having a friend over for dinner and instead of going to Subway for dinner, even though its healthy, I am making a low cal/fat Mexican dinner for us.

I am hoping that I can continue to keep my word to myself for the rest of the week and keep making progress to a healthier me!

A Week at Home

In the car riding home from a week(ish) in Arcata. I definitely ate my fill of Los Bagels and drank a fair amount of wine/champagne. But I didn't go over board on eating out or filling my plate until its overflowing at thanksgiving.

I didn't do any exercise while on vacation (except doing the Wii with family).

I have already made a grocery list for Trader Joe's for tonight and am going to make a gym schedule tonight when I get home and try to keep on it. I don't work at the restaurant until Friday so I am looking to get in some serious gym time Monday-thursday.

It will be interesting what the numbers say tomorrow on the scale! :)

Heading into the Holidays

Weighed in yesterday and again no scale movement, at all, not even a .2 lb. I have been making better choices at what I'm taking home from work (I've had soup and salad like 4 days in a row, and plan on getting it again today). But I also have gone out for drinks with my roommate a few times this week. And sometimes drinks included dinner and I didn't make good choices.

Last night we had a talk about not enabling each other to make bad choices. We were both doing really well in the start of the year and summer, but have both been making less than stellar choices.  We decided not to ask each other to go to drinks or dinner and support each other in going to the gym more often. She also rides for "Team in Training" for cancer and her training starts in February so she is going to be totally back on the wagon after that and I need to follow suit!

I have decided to not deprive myself of a great thanksgiving meal when I go home, but I have decided to make conscious decisions about what I eat and how much I eat of it. I also need to not pig out Los Bagels and other yummy food from home.

While at home I am bringing some of my healthy recipe books and maybe some cooking light magazines to plan meals (especially dinners) for when I come back. I have Sunday and Monday night off from the restaurant and can shop/prep/cook items for the next week. I also need to find a way to work in the gym! I really do miss going, but am going to have to get up super early or go super late. But I need to go.

My friend Lance who is a personal trainer and all over fitness powerhouse got a fortune that he posted on facebook yesterday, "If you develop the habits of success, you will make success a habit." I need to get back in the habit!

Crazy Week Was an Understatement

Work at school this week was beyond insane. Students flipping desks, the teacher not controlling the class while feeding them cupcakes, poptarts, and candy (great idea, right?!). Needless to say I didn't make it to the gym at all this week. And even in my best attempts to have food prepared for lunch and dinner I did eat out more than I wanted to this week. I did take the time in the morning to prepare a scramble and english muffin every morning, which I felt good about.

I stepped on the scale to see what things looked like after no gym and not eating my ideal foods for weight loss. No movement. Good because I have not been vigilant in eating well or exercising.

Thursday started a 6 day run of work days at the restaurant. On Thursday night I got a free mini pizza (for free with my shifts) to take to school for lunch. Last night I brought home a pizookie (basically a big cookie). It was a bad decision but at the time chocolate sounded so good. I have made plans on my iPhone and the MyFitness app to get a Fresh Mozzarella and Tomato Salad from work today after my shift to have with a half turkey sandwich. And have planned my calories for the day.

I also had time before my shift today to make a health conscious breakfast. I made a crustless quiche (which turned out great!).
Recipe:
1 egg
2 egg whites
2 slices diced canadian bacon
1 cup spinach
1 slice diced smoked gouda

I mixed everything together and put it in a small pyrex dish and baked at 375 degrees for about 30 minutes or until the eggs were firm. I paired it with a fat free english muffin and some hot apple cider. I am feeling very full and satisfied from my homemade breakfast.

New Week, Crazy Week

Well I weighed in this morning and saw no scale movement. I kind of expected this. Although I am happy I made it to the gym as much as I did last week, I also ate out for dinner more than I would have liked to.

I was diligent about my breakfasts and lunches but totally was unprepared for dinner. Something to work on this week.

This up coming week is going to be rough for the gym. I am working all but two days at my restaurant job. Not only does this eliminate time for the gym (after commute time I only have an hour between the two jobs) but it is also going to be hard to turn down the free and fast food they offer at the end of each shift. After an almost 12 hour day it's hard to think about going home and making dinner, but I'm going to try my best. On the two days I don't work nights I am determined to go to the gym.

I'll keep you updated on my progress in this crazy week leading up to thanksgiving break!!

Wednesday: So Far So Good

Got things prepared for today last night. Breakfast lunch dinner gym bag. The works.

But when the alarm went off I couldn't pull myself out of bed. I thought to myself "I'll just grab a bagel at Noah's and sleep in a bit". I did sleep in and when I got up I went downstairs and decided "NO!". I will make my egg white scramble like I planned and be good. So I did. I also almost forgot to throw my bodybugg on but I ran back upstairs and threw it on.

I also fully intend on going to the gym after school (I remembered to put my ear phones in the gym bag). Today has gone well so far and I hope that it continues! :)

Below is a photo of my lunch. Grapes, rice crackers, fruit leather, balsamic spinach mozzarella salami salad. Yum!

Tuesday: Murphy's Day

Today I got up and going, I had packed lunch for today and put breakfast out on the counter, had the gym bag packed and was ready to go.

Work was hectic today, a run away girl, a kid got another in a head lock... hectic.

Off work and ready to go to the gym, and I realize I forgot my headphones. I know it doesn't seem like much, but I just couldn't go to the gym without them. I stopped by Target to get laundry soap for the billions of loads of laundry that is piling up on my bedroom floor. I think, well this is maybe a good turn of events, take a day break from running and not over do it getting back into the swing, and an opportunity to do laundry (I think I was on my last pair of socks).

I do the wash, put things in the two stacked driers and think to myself "Oh yay, they fixed the bottom dryer finally". I go back to get my dried clothes only to find that the bottom dryer clothes are still wet and cold. Crap. Put in another $1.25 and wait another hour for my clothes to be done...

I feel like as prepared as I tried to be today, things still went a little off course. But I put my head phones in my gym bag for tomorrow (instead of leaving them on the coffee table to forget in the morning rush), planned food for all three of tomorrow's meals, and did all my laundry (and now have socks for the gym).

Although today was not what I expected it to be, I am still pleased with how I worked around some 'issues' that came up. At least I didn't say "fuck it" and go to McDonald's because of how things were going (something I might have done last year).

Here is to being more prepared for Wednesday!

Monday: Good or Bad?

Sunday Night: Planned out breakfast (weight control oatmeal and a protein shake) and lunch (spinach salad with chicken and fresh mozzarella and minestrone soup) and packed a gym bag for after school. Best idea ever!

Monday morning: Got up and grabbed all my prepacked things and headed to work (after weighing in. I'm +14 from my lowest weight. A little discouraging, but at least it isn't 20, right? And I'm going to try to knock it down quick!). The teacher I work with took the day off and we had a sub. All hell broke loose and I ended up having to restrain a kid to keep her and others safe. It was a physically strenuous (she was super strong and squirmy), and emotionally draining. I thought about not going to the gym after school, but dragged my butt there anyways. I only ran for 30 minutes, but it's better than nothing. I started to feel a strain in my neck so I stopped running. I thought that it might be pulled from the restraint and I didn't want to make things worse.

Staying Healthy 10
Job                          -3
-------------------------
Total Day              7

Monday was an ok day over all. At least I'm in positive numbers

Is This Groundhog Day?

So I feel like the past week or two, has been living in the movie Groundhog Day. Not that I am living the same day over and over, but I keep redoing the same idea over and over. The idea being "I will be good this Monday". It just seems like things keep getting in my way. After my start two weeks ago, I got sick. I was sick for about a week and didn't go to the gym, and wasn't eating very well either. I also got news that a close family member was diagnosed with cancer, and that took down my energy level as well. I also stopped seeing Paul, and started talking to Steve again. It has been a crazy two weeks in my personal life to say the least. Not to mention the chaos that is happening at work. The school job is mentally exhausting and not my ideal job by any means. I have also been focusing on studying for the CSET. I took the General Science CSET yesterday in hopes of finding a teaching job one way or another to have my own classroom again.

I am hoping now that my test is over, my health is better, and my personal life has calming down a bit, that I will be able to get back to the gym and making good eating choices.

I haven't been planning my meals very well and as a result I've been eating out a lot more. Which is bad for my health because I haven't been making the best food choices, and it is bad for my wallet because I'm spending too much money.

I am over being in this Groundhog Day type cycle and am making a change THIS Monday. (I really wish this is the last time I say this).

Tools For Getting Out of This Cycle:
-Plan meals better (breakfast and lunch especially)
-Get my ass to the gym! Make an appointment in my phone to go to the gym and dont make excuses
-More effort to make good choices (stop and think, even if I'm tired, is this a good idea)

Day One All Over Again

After not working out for two months today felt like day one all over again. I went to the gym and did the stair climber for about 15 minutes before a 30 minute abs class. I'm not feeling the burn in my stomach yet (but I'm sure I will tomorrow). I also did the weightlifting class I loved "Body Pump". I made the mistake of putting the same weights that I was using two months ago, which was my highest lifting weights to date. I now walk in pain from my hamstrings and quads. Lesson learned, you get out of shape even in two months of not being active. I am looking forward to my next trip to the gym.

What I am looking forward to more is my shopping trip to Trader Joe's tomorrow!! Can't wait to buy some yummy healthy stuff!! I didn't eat super well today still had some left overs of not so healthy things to eat out of the fridge before the shopping trip tomorrow.

I also weighed in today and was up 9 lbs from my last weigh in two months ago. Not very happy about it but it is just another starting point to work from. I am still thinking about the end of the year goal I want to make for myself. When I come up with it I will let you all know what it is. :)

A quote from my tea bag tonight that is worth giving some thought to, "The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself." -Mark Twain.

2 months later, but I'm back baby! Get excited!

2 month and 2 days from my last post and keeping myself truly accountable for my eating and exercising actions. A lot has happened since my last post.

-My relationship with Steve ended, but I have started seeing Paul again (I was seeing him when I first started this journey, and just the other day he asked "Where is that arm band (bodybugg) you use to wear?" And asked me if I was getting back into working out/eating healthy.)
-I got a job at a chain brewhouse as a host. It is an ok minimum wage job. Pros, I stand and walk the entire time during my shift. Con, I get a free meal with every shift. Money has been tight and so I haven't been passing up the food, but have been making bad choices (they don't have many "good choices", but I could've made better decisions).
-I also got a job as an instructional aide in a classroom for emotionally disturbed students. Pro, I am back in education and in a classroom and there is a 24 hour fitness about 2 blocks away from school. Con, the teacher I am working with is not very good, and it is hard to take a back seat to her teaching when I know I could do a better job.

I am happy that I am being productive and making my own money again, but I am far from being happy in both of the jobs that I have. I am still studying for the General Science CSETs and am constantly looking for opportunities to get my own classroom again. It is nice to have a set schedule again, but some days I work both jobs in a day which can last from 6am-12pm (not typical but 6am-9pm is typical on days I work both jobs). And after doing both jobs there is no way I have energy to go to the gym. But having a set breakfast and lunch time is helpful to keep things on track. Dinner is a different story, because some nights I will get food from the brewery at 9pm scarf it down then go to bed. 9pm is too late to be eating dinner, but I can't eat it at 4pm before work because that would be too early (and I can't eat while on the clock).

I feel like I have had some false "restarts" in the last three months. I will say to myself (or my roommate), "Ok, I am starting Monday back into eating healthy and going to the gym". And I will eat well for the week, but not make it to the gym. But this Monday I AM DOING IT! Yesterday I cleaned out my fridge and pantry, getting rid of expired food/condiments, and made a shopping list for Trader Joe's when I get paid on Tuesday.

I have decided that I want to finish out 2011 the way I started it, eating healthy and going to the gym. I have decided to make an end of 2011 weight loss goal, but haven't thought it all the way through yet. My birthday is also in mid-December and would like to start my 28th year the right way!

I will be trying to blog more, go to the gym more, track my calories more, and make better decisions. I am charging my bodybugg now, have loaded podcasts and music on my iPhone, and am going to look at gym schedules and create my end of 2011 goal right now! STAY TUNED!

After an 18 Day "Break"

Not having wrote a post in 18 days, I think it's time.

Over the past 18 days I made a trip home to hang out with family for a week, which was much needed and a nice break. I had a great time up there, but coming back to Sacramento this time was hard. I have been totally stressed about not finding a job after putting out a legitimate effort. It doesn't help that Steve (a math and physics teacher) got three teaching job offers while I was home and ended up taking one of them. He just got out of the credential program and had been just going to school for the last 2 years. He mentioned that he didn't realize how much having a job added to his feeling of self worth. I totally understand what he means, but in him saying that it has made me think about how much having a job means to me (I've tried to suffocate this thought because thinking about it is too painful sometimes). But since he's said it, I've been obsessing about my joblessness.

I did apply to take two CSET tests for science in November, which will hopefully make me more desirable to districts, but it won't help me until next school year 2012-2013! I am also looking to take the English tests, and any others that I think I might have a chance in passing. The district I was working for sent me a letter that I will no longer be getting priority subbing rights, and am now just in a pool with everyone else, and no longer in the special laid off teacher pool. Because of this I am not getting any sub calls, this is no longer a viable and reliable form of income. I also found out that I was not granted a new claim with unemployment so I need to get some sort of job quickly! It doesn't help my sense of self worth thinking about taking a retail or serving job because I went to college and got my teaching credential so I wouldn't have to do that any more and I could put my passion for education to good use.

I also have not been to the gym, and have not been watching what I've been eating. I am painfully aware that my eating habits correlate strongly to my moods. When I'm in a down mood, eating healthy is no longer a priority and going to the gym isn't on my list of things to do, I'd rather just sit and wallow. I haven't been on the scale because I'm afraid of what will pop up on the digital screen. I did go buy a dress for an upcoming wedding the family is going to in Denver in September. I am very happy with the way it fits, and it's still in a smaller size than I was wearing so I can't be too upset. Although I have noticed my skin is acting out and breaking out. I think that it's half stress, and half the way I'm eating (I would say mostly stress though).

Today I am focusing on doing a deep deep clean of my apartment and getting things organized. I'm hoping that if I clean up my surroundings my mood will get a bit better, and bring some good mojo in my life. My room and the downstairs are unorganized and adding to some of my stress and anxiety. Starting tomorrow I will try to make eating healthy and getting back to the gym number one on my list. Although it'd hard with this dark no job cloud and money worries looming over me all the time. I just need to keep looking ahead for those sunny days that I'm hoping are on the horizon.

Stressed to the Max

Weighed in today, same ole same ole. No movement. To be honest, it's what I expected. I went to the gym 3 times last week, but also didn't watch what I ate that much. I need to start measuring and really keeping track again. I'm hoping a trip back home to Arcata will rejuvenate me. Being with my loving and supportive family and a change of scenery is just what I need I think. My dad has agreed to go on two runs with me while I'm up there which will be nice.

I have also been really stressed this week. Unemployment is making me jump through tons of hoops, and it's stressing me out. I also haven't heard anything from any of the state jobs or teaching jobs I've applied to. I'm just feeling jaded that I went to college and worked my butt off in the credential program for nothing. As I told my friend Melissa who is kind of in my same situation, I just want a big girl job. I want to work 40+ hours a week, get benefits, vacation days, a good salary, ect. When I start to stress I just need to take a deep breath and remember all the things that I am thankful for and that this too will pass. My friend Linda tried to help me with a bagel intervention yesterday, but it was too late. I had eaten the bagels and drank the coffee. But it was sweet of her to try to help out with my emotional bagel eating.

I am going on another date with the same guy from last Friday tonight. We are basically going on my dream date, Trivia at a pub! :) I love love love trivia (and Steve is pretty cool too haha). I have looked at the pub menu and there aren't a lot of healthy options. But right now, I really don't care. :) I'm just excited!

No Sleep and Gym Don't Mix

For the past few nights I haven't been able to sleep through the night. I have been having crazy dreams that wake me up around 4am and then I can't get back to sleep for an hour or so. And I haven't been able to sleep until like 12am... I need to get this under control ASAP. But I did drag my beyond tired booty to the gym this morning.

Saturday I went to the newly remodeled 24 hour in Downtown Sacramento. It is AWESOME! Way more cardio equipment and some machines have their own TV screens which I missed about another gym I belonged to.

Sunday I did absolutely nothing. Literally nothing... but it was fun. haha

Today I dragged my butt to the gym and ran 2 miles then rowed for a bit. Now I'm home contemplating what to make for lunch. I am thinking I'll hit the gym tomorrow and do the elliptical to make my goal of going to the gym four times this week since I already blew it on the no beer and eating healthy goals for this week.

One week from today I am heading back home to Humboldt for a week or so. I am trying to eat everything out of my fridge and cupboards, which doesn't always lend itself to super healthy eating, but it's what I need to do to save money and make sure the fridge is empty when I leave.

Goal Updates and No Toenail :(

This week's goals: No beer, eat better, get to the gym at least 4 days! (and do laundry... but that's different)

No Beer- Fail! On Thursday I went to a friends birthday at BJ's Brewhouse... Brewhouse... You can't go to a brew house and not have a beer, especially when you are celebrating a birthday. We ended up buying a pitcher splitting it. Then on Friday night I went on a first date, and he picked to get drinks at a place in midtown, and so I had a gin and tonic. Oh well.

Eat Better- So far so good. I didn't pick the best thing to eat at BJ's but didn't pick the worst. And last night my date and I split two mini plates of Beef Sliders and Boneless Hot Wings. But other than that I have been eating fairly well.

Gym- I can still make the 4 times to the gym if I go today and everyday 'til Tuesday. After my last 5k one of my toenails was black and blue, and after my 'longest run to date' it was really hurting and became more bruised. And last night walking home from my date in my highest heels, my toenail decided it didn't want to stay on anymore... so now I have no toenail on my left 'pointer' toe :(

Laundry- Mission Accomplished! It is in the dryer as I write. Although this is probably the least important thing on my list of goals for the week, it needed to be done, and now my room is clean with all the clothes off the floor.

Too Much Fun and Beer Strike Again

My roommate, me, and her sister

High School Friends Clark, Megan and I

Weigh in day today, up two pounds. I know exactly why I am up those pounds. Too much fun with too much beer. My roommate and I held a potluck at our place on Saturday. Potlucks aren't really known for having the healthiest foods, and ours was no different. We did have a great time though. After eating we went to a bar in East Sac and closed the place down. I really had a blast. And Sunday was a 'recovery' day which was spent on the couch with three movies. If you have been reading along it has been a struggle with me to find a balance in losing weight and wanting to drink and have a good time with friends. I just need to be better at getting back on track after a night out. As weird as this might sound, I wouldn't trade that night out with friends for the two 'found pounds'. And I shouldn't be blaming it all on the beer either, I haven't gone to the gym since Thursday. I need to get back to that place ASAP! And this week starting today is a no beer week. Which is going to be hard since we still have a dozen beers in the fridge :)

I have also been super stressed this week about finding a job. I had to file a new unemployment claim to see if I qualify for more time on unemployment. I sent off information to EDD yesterday, and am hoping to find out by the end of the week what is going on with that. If I understand correctly, regardless of if I am eligible for a new claim I will still receive the 8 or so weeks I still had on my extension. I just can't wait until I have a steady job. The 50+ applications I send out haven't yielded anything yet, but they are for the state, and things always move slower there I am told.

I did have to stop by my old district to get the information for EDD, and when I did I wanted to make sure that I was still on the Substitute Teaching List for next year. I was, but my TB test had expired. The secretary who helped me was SUPER nice, and gave me a form to take to a clinic to get tested and they would pay for it. SCORE! Since I don't have health insurance I was super excited to hear that they would pay for it!

This week's goals: No beer, eat better, get to the gym at least 4 days! (and do laundry... but that's different)

Finally Some Scale Movement!

Today I weighed in and lost 2 lbs. Finally I have the scale moving in the right direction. I am now at my lowest weight since I started this journey. It really is proof that when I make good eating choices and work out things go the way I want them to!

On Monday my friend Sirena and I did a Boot Camp class. Man it kicked my butt! I haven't been lifting in awhile so the weights definitely made me sore, mostly in my back and shoulders. And my abs are beyond sore! I don't know how the trainer Mark gets my abs so good, but I should do his routine at home on other days for sure!

Yesterday I ran 3 miles at the gym. I had planned on trying to do 4.5 to keep up with my pace guide for training for the half marathon but I just couldn't do it, I was sore from my run on Monday and super sore from Boot Camp. My roommate and I took a walk last night that totaled 2.4 miles, but we did walk to get frozen yogurt... but it was non fat...I think it is an even exchange! haha

I'm taking today off, although I am babysitting my cousin's little ones again so they will keep me hopping. I also have a friend coming into town, and I think we're going out to dinner so I NEED to make a good choice at dinner, because I think some cocktails will be involved.

My roommate and I are also hosting a potluck this weekend so tempting foods will be all around. I will try to make some good choices then as well!

Longest Run Yet, Back in the Game

This morning I got up and decided it was time to start running again. I have noticed that if I am not working towards a next race, I won't run. And going to the gym for classes or even the elliptical is no replacement for running outside. I went to McKinley Park about .5 miles from my apartment. I ran 3 loops around the park (each a mile), and then back to my apartment. Mapmyrun.com figured that the run was 4.3 miles long. It took me and hour and six minutes to run it.

I was planning on doing the Urban Cow Half Marathon on October 2nd, but had gotten off track from training for that. A half marathon is 13.1 miles. I definitely need to get to running on a regular basis to work up to getting through 13.1 miles. I'm thinking that if I add a half mile every week or something I can build up to making it through that long of a run. If I do that I will be running 9.5 miles the week before the half marathon.... Yikes! This is a big undertaking for someone in January never thought of running anywhere.

Out of Town Guests and More Bad Decisions

This week/weekend I had more out of town guests and went out to eat more than I usually do. It is so hard for me to make good decisions when eating out. Menus have such tempting things that I know I can't cook and sound so yummy. I really need to step up the will power and make better decisions.

I also have been slacking on the gym! AH! I need to refocus and get my booty in gear. I'm not sure if you all watch Extreme Makeover Body Edition, but this last episode was focused on a man with an extreme eating addiction and his defeat in not losing the weight that the trainer/show wanted him to. The show ended with him checking himself into rehab-ish program to work on his eating addiction. It was nice to see that the show illustrated someone who was struggling with weight loss and not just showing people who really excel. It was a reminder that weightloss and eating healthy is difficult and some times progress is slow or even moves backwards at times.

I went to Target tonight to try to look for some work clothes (anticipating that I might have an interview sometime soon, wishful thinking). I found a pair of grey slacks in my new size, but when I tried them on they were really tight. :( They technically fit, but not in the way I wanted them to. It was a great motivator for me to get to the gym tomorrow FOR SURE! I did make some good choices tonight. I was craving pizza, and decided to get a lean pocket pizza that fulfilled my craving and only cost me 280 calories. I also bought some faux tanning lotion, whitening tooth paste, and a new nail polish color to do a little in home spa night tonight to try to pep myself up into taking a little more care of my appearance and I'm hoping that will translate into a desire to double up on workouts this coming week!

It Has Been a While

Since last time I wrote nothing much has happened. Last weekend family came into town which meant a lot of eating out and BBQing. I didn't make the best choices while eating out, and didn't make it to the gym over the weekend either. But it was definitely worth it to see the family as much as I did. My family means the world to me.

This week has been dedicated to another part of my life that needs some 'pumping up', I have been working hard on the job front. I spent all of Monday and Tuesday reworking my resume and cover letter and looking for work. It's really amazing how much time that really takes. I spent all of yesterday assembling a 7 page application/resume for state jobs. I sent out 27 total. I still have another 10 to send today. I really am hoping something pans out from all of this. And at the end of the day my brain has been mush and I haven't been going to the gym. I think that if I tried to get on the elliptical I would literally fall off my brain wouldn't have enough power to say 'stay on, don't fall off'.

This morning I weighed in, and again no gain, but also no loss. But judging from what I've been eating and the lack of going to the gym, I'm just glad there was no gain. I really need to get my booty back to the gym!

Breaking Even

Yesterday I finally remembered to weigh in on my new weigh in day, Wednesday. I was happily surprised that after a weekend with the family in the bay area and all the beer and food I had over The 4th of July that my weight had stayed the same. I am definitely happy to have broke even after much indulgence.

I had a very productive morning yesterday with a walk around midtown, stopping at the bank, getting gas, going to the post office, and shopping at Trader Joe's. I broke down and bough the evilly delicious Dark Chocolate Covered Pretzel Thins from Trader Joe's. After having two servings of the yummy little treats (only 14 pieces, but 390 calories) I knew that I had to go to the gym and burn off those calories so I could break even with the calories I ate. I went to the gym and did 30 minutes on the elliptical, and burned off those 14 temptations.

This morning I started to go through my clothes, which seems to be a thing I am doing on a regular basis lately. First I got rid of all my winter clothes that are too big, and now I'm weeding out my summer clothes for ones that don't fit. I tried on a skirt that I had bought and really liked, but never felt really comfortable in when I was heavier. I always wanted to wear it but never really did because I felt confident in it. But when I tried it on today it was falling off my hips. Which is good, but I was also was sad that I never really got to wear it. I guess I will have to find it a new home. While in the middle of trying on clothes there was a knock at the door. I went downstairs to find a package that I had been waiting for. Two new pairs of shorts, two sizes smaller than the skirt I put in the "give away" pile. Old clothes out, new clothes in.... Breaking Even

4th of July Weekend, and Beer as my Enemy

Hope everyone had a safe and fun Fourth of July weekend. I know I did. Friday went to a friend's BBQ and had a great time with great food. I definitely ate well at the BBQ, but drank tons of beer. It's hard to stay cool when it's 100 degrees outside, and beer is definitely a nice way to keep cool. But adds up the calories very quickly! I didn't hit the gym at all this weekend, which makes the drinking/eating even worse.

For the 4th my cousin invited me to dinner at his place. Again, drank more beer than I should have, but ate within my means. I offered to bring beer without knowing how many people would be at his place, so I bought a 18 pack of Bud Light, and when I showed up it was just me, my cousin and his girlfriend. Needless to say, I have a lot of extra beer. I left him with 6, and I think I drank 4 there, so that means I have 8 in my fridge staring at me tempting me with their icy cool bubbliness! This could be bad. It will definitely be a struggle not to grab one with dinner or lunch. But I have will power and I will use it! But we ended up going to watch fireworks in the city of Carmichael. It was definitely a good evening.

Today I babysat for another cousin and definitely feel like I got my workout chasing after a 4 year old and lifting a 25 pound one year old for 5 hours. How my cousin has any energy to go on a run on any given day baffles me! I ate well today though. Egg white scramble for breakfast, a light lunch, and fish and artichokes for dinner. I need to keep eating well this week because this weekend holds more festivities. I have a birthday dinner to go to at Dave and Busters on Friday, but already looked at the menu and they do have a 600 calories and under portion. It will just be will power to pick something off there while I see burgers and pasta, and fries tempting me. I also have a ladies night planned for Saturday night. I think we are doing a pot luck type thing so I can make good choices there but then we might go out on the town...which means beer... My new nemesis.

I'm not sure if it's just a summer thing, but I feel like I have a lot of weekends booked with friends and parties and whatnot. And at almost all beer or liquor temptations are there. And with it being so stinking hot in Sacramento this summer, it is hard to look at a frosty pint glass and golden liquid goodness and say "No thanks..." Everything in moderation, right? And if not... spend an extra hour at the gym!

UJam Fitness, Finally!

Finally went to UJam fitness tonight!!! After a month of trying to go, but never meshing with the time that it is held. But tonight was the night. My friend Christina went with me as well. Just a reminder of what the class description is: "This class unites world beats with urban flavor and takes you around the world from hip-hop to Bollywood with an intense cardiovascular workout! Easy to learn dance steps choreographed to high energy music that makes you sweat, tone your body and leaves you craving for more!" It should just be called "Hip-Hop Class (with some Bollywood arm movements)"

But it was really fun! I had a really good time. My shins splints were hurting a little from running this morning so I didn't do a lot of the jumping moves. But after the first song I was already sweating up a storm, and by the end of the class I had burned 660 calories. Not bad for an hour of dancing fun! After class which ended at 6:30, Christina headed to Subway for dinner. Dinner was only 460 calories, so I burned some to spare at class tonight!

Hump Day Motivation

Last night I went to a friend's house for dinner. In the couple of years he's made some healthy changes in his life and has done a few triathlons and has become an avid biker (and has dropped a few pounds in the process). He has been really supportive of my taking up running and we plan to do a run sometime together if we can get our schedules to mesh. He made an awesome Sausage and Shrimp Jambalaya to put over rice (white rice, but we both commented that brown would have been healthier but the white rice tasted very yummy with everything on top of it). It was healthy as well, I might just need to steal this recipe from him. He has also taken up beer brewing so I just had to try some! It was very tasty as well. And one beer turned into two, and then three. I am learning that beer is a definite weakness for me. I would rather have two beers with dinner than a chocolate dessert after dinner. But to each their own.

When I checked my email this morning I had a message from one of my cousin's friends. My cousin had passed the link to my blog to her. She wrote me saying how much she enjoyed my blog and how she has decided to make a commitment to her health and to get things rolling! I am so happy that yet another person is inspired by my blog! And again, I encourage you all to share my blog with whoever might enjoy it. I wasn't going to go to the gym today before I received that email, but her positive attitude and encouraging words has given me that extra boost to get to the gym before heading to my cousin Jen's to help out with her little ones (which is a fun work out all on it's own!).

Oh, I also forgot to weigh in today before I had breakfast, so I will just have to wait to weigh in next Wednesday. That will be about a week and a half from my last weigh in and I hope that I see a loss! If not... I will kick my own butt!

I am very excited though about my new little garden! All things that I have planted have sprouted! Even if they don't yield anything, I have proof that I am able to grow something!

My front porch Zinnias (to be)

The radishes are growing the best so far!

Back From Vacation With A Vengeance

My sister and I near the Golden Gate

Vacation with the family was very fun this last weekend in the Bay Area. It was fun seeing my friend Lacey for a quick bit when she was working at Marin Brewing Company. And just an all around good time. I took a total break from my healthy lifestyle. I ate whatever I wanted, and drank more alcohol than normal as well. By the end of the weekend my body was letting me know that I was making bad choices. Which is a good reminder why eating healthy is such a big deal. I also didn't use the hotel gym at all, and didn't even bring my bodybugg on the trip. I haven't been using my bodybugg as diligently as I had been and think that it's contributing to my not hitting goals.

First BBQ on my Webber

As soon as I got back to Sacramento I filled my fridge with healthy foods, and decided to get my healthy lifestyle back on track again. My dad brought a little Webber BBQ for me to have, which I am very excited to use on my patio. I am looking to do some grilling tonight! I have planned out all my food for today. Egg and canadian bacon tacos for breakfast, turkey sandwich for lunch, a jalapeno sausage BBQ'd with grilled veggies for dinner.

This morning I couldn't get my butt out of bed to go to the gym for my normal 9:00am Body Pump class. Sleeping in my own bed was just so comfy and I wanted to sleep in a bit. But at 8:45am I decided that I was going to get up and go for a run around Midtown before it got too hot. I jogged a 1.4 mile loop from my house and back. It felt good to get up and do something, even if it wasn't going to the gym. I did laundry and picked up the house. Laid out in the sun for a little while, and then decided to go to the gym and run on the elliptical for an hour or so. Then back to the house and then grilled a yummy yummy dinner!

On another, but related, note I am also going on a 'men fast' for the month of July. I have been too focused on not having one or trying to get one that I have slacked on 'doing me'. So for the month of July, I'm putting men completely out of my head and focusing on me. Maybe some of the emotional baggage lifting will help with losing some more weight! :)

New Garden and Monday Weigh In

Monday weigh in brought me back one pound that I had already lost. This have been I think the third week of a gain, and I'm over it. I need to get back to seeing negative numbers. But at the same time I went to the gym to weight lift and run on Monday after my weigh in. While running I had a zen-ish moment where I was feeling bad about letting that one pound slip back on, but then I though to myself, at least I'm at the gym doing something about it. My dad has always reminded me since I started really working out this year, that even though I might think that my ultimate goal is to lose weight, that every time I go to the gym I am getting healthier period. Weight loss or not, every hour at the gym gets me closer to being healthy overall. So I'm not letting this weight gain really weigh on my mind (even though I want it gone next week).

I'm also thinking about changing my weigh in day to Wednesday because I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure weighing in on Monday if I slipped up a bit on the weekend. And think that Wednesday might be better. We'll see. I've been doing Monday weigh ins for 6 months now, I think I'll give Wednesday weigh-ins a go for a month or two.

This week I have been eating better and sticking to my calorie eating goals. I recently bought sunflower butter instead of almond butter. So far so good, it's a nice change. I've been making english muffins with sunflower butter with diced pan fried canadian bacon on them (no oil used to fry the bacon). It's really a yummy lil combo!

I am heading to San Rafael with my parents Thursday-Sunday, and I know eating healthy will be a challenge as it always is on vacation. But hopefully we walk around enough, or I use the hotel gym enough to break even or lose some weight.

And summer is definitely here in Sacramento. We are looking at our first triple digit day. I will have to get up early to beat the heat if I wanna do some runs outside anymore. I might have to switch to the AC gym treadmills! :) I also planted a little garden on my patio with some fresh herbs, radishes, green onions, and hot peppers. I will keep you updated on how they go! I wish I had more room and had thought to do this earlier so I could have some lettuce or some more items. But I'm happy to start out small.

5k Foot Pursuit

Today I got up at 6:30am ate a banana and a piece of whole wheat toast with almond butter and headed off to Miller Park in Sacramento to a 5k for local law enforcement. When I got there not many people were there and those who were looked very fit, and my first thought was "I'm going to be the last one to finish!" As I waited for the race to start I made a new friend, Kate. She was very nice and gave me some tips on what upcoming runs to do, and what the courses are like. She was obviously an experienced runner, and about 2 min 'til start time, she moved to the front of the pack. More people came who looked like they might be walking the course, so I felt better that I would not be the last of the last.

The course started down near the marina, and then followed I-5 to oldtown. We ran under the freeway to the mall, turned around, back through oldtown, and to the starting line. The course was more hilly than the other two I ran, so I thought for sure my time would be slower. I wore a stop watch this time so I could keep a better pace. I did the first mile in 13:40 which is my fastest mile on a run. Then the hills came. I walked up them, and then took advantage of gravity and ran down them. mile two was rough. Between mile 2 and 3 we ran along a bike trail near the river. It was really beautiful. It was about 70 degrees with a slight, and much welcomed, breeze. We were wearing dark blue shirts, which made it extra warm. When I saw the mile 3 marker, I ran from there to the finish. As I was running up there was an announcer catching people who are crossing the finishing line and calling out their names. "And here comes Hilary King!" the announcer called out as I came down the home stretch. It definitely gave me a boost of energy to go that last little bit. And best.. of.. all.., I beat my best time. I finished the race in 45:34!!! That's an average of a 14:42 minute mile.

And the mojo that I had lost, it back in full swing again. Back to eating right and planning on keeping a good workout schedule for next week. I am having a Father's Day BBQ with my Uncle and other family tomorrow (my family not living in the same city I do), so I will allow some 'cheat foods' tomorrow. I am also meeting my parents in San Rafael, CA on Thursday-Sunday so I know I won't be eating all that great with them on vacation, so I need to make Monday-Thursday morning really count!

Hope you all are enjoying your weekend!

Mojo Half Way Back

Yesterday I dragged my butt to the gym in the morning. I did 45 minutes of cardio while listening to my Jillian Michael's podcast. I love listening to her podcasts about fitness and health while working out, it wouldn't be the same if I was listening to them while sitting on the couch. It felt good to get up and go. I always feel better after hitting the gym no matter how much I am dreading going beforehand.

When I got home from the gym, I needed to go deposit my unemployment check at the bank (to which I usually drive), and decided to walk there. It's only 7 blocks away, and as I was locking my front door and started walking to the car I thought 'This is stupid, it's not that far, just walk!'. So I did. It was sunny and a bit breezy, perfect walking weather. I'm hoping that the nice weather holds for my 5k on Saturday. Not too hot, but not raining like last time. I'm looking forward to picking up my race t-shirt and number tomorrow morning.

I feel as though a little weight has been lifted off of me. The unemployment check that I got was suppose to be my last one before I had to reapply for unemployment and it wasn't guaranteed that I would be awarded more time on unemployment. When I opened the check, I was happily surprised that I was already given an extension that would allow me 13 more weeks on unemployment. I am still a little stressed that it's some sort of cruel government joke and I won't be given the extension. I won't feel totally relieved until I get my first check from the new extension. However, I have applied to 3 teaching jobs in Sacramento (as I'm sure 300 other people in my situation have done also). I've also been exploring other options for employment as well... it looks like I have 13 more weeks to figure it out! Yikes! :)

I brought left over lasagna to my cousin's when I went to babysit for her last night, even though she is a great cook and eats very healthy. It's just nice to know that I know exactly what I'm eating. Now I only have 9/12th of my lasagna to eat, since I had it for both lunch and dinner yesterday. Thank goodness this lasagna is good!

I'm taking it easy tomorrow so I can try to beat my time in my 5k on Saturday! Very excited to be able to run feeling healthier than I did last time!

I Have Lost My Mojo

So I have good news and bad news....


Good news: Today I went to body pump again today, and it felt good. Even though I was still sore, it felt nice to work out the muscles again.


My Spaghetti Squash Lasagna came out AMAZING! I was so worried that with it being all veggie that it would be really runny, but it wasn't. It was perfect. I figured out that 1/12 of my 9x13 pan had only 266 calories. I think that is a pretty good deal! It was a super yummy dinner, and now I will be having it for the next 11 meals, because cooking for one sucks.  :) I also had drinks for my friends birthday tonight and it was just what I needed,... on to the bad news.

Bad news: I had an emotional day today coming to terms that there are really no teaching jobs for me in Sacramento, and that is really sad. I have known I wanted to be a teacher since forever, and it's hard to realize that it might not be what I will end up doing for a living. It's also been really hard financially being on unemployment and I am getting really fed up with always being beyond broke. I know I'm an emotional eater, and even though I realize and own that, I still do it. I did have more dark chocolate pretzels than I had planned today, and also had 2 beers at drinks instead of the club soda I had planned on, but didn't go totally off the handle. Drinking as a stress release is something that I have done for six years. It's a hard habit to break.


 I have this feeling that I just need to run away from everything, and that's exactly what I will do on the treadmill tomorrow morning at the gym, and try to refocus my emotions. I also haven't been going to the gym as much as I would like, and it's no one's fault but my own. I have lost my gym mojo, and need to get it back quick.


A family friend, Mary posted this quote on her facebook today, and it's exactly what I needed to hear. Because right now I feel like that little voice. 

‎"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow."

Triceps, Biceps, and Quads, Oh My!

I woke up this morning very sore from lifting yesterday, but it feels so good. My triceps, biceps, quads and hamstrings are definitely feeling the burn.

Last night I went to pub trivia with friends. I had eaten well all day, and had planned on eating at the pub for dinner. I had decided not to have a drink to save money and calories, but when my friend ordered a pitcher and poured me a pint, my will power went out the window. I did have only one pint though, so that's good. I use to basically drink a pitcher when I would do trivia last year. We were there for happy hour, so I was going to order dinner off that menu. Everything was either fried or really high in calories on the happy hour menu. There were no salads, only fish and chips, chicken strips, potato nachos... So I picked, what I thought to be the best option on the happy hour menu, two pulled pork sliders. They didn't come with fries so that was a plus. And they were very yummy. I'm sure a lot of you all also find that it's hard to eat healthy and not drink cocktails when going out with friends. Happy hour is not designed for people looking to make healthy eating choices.

I weighed in this morning and had gained 1.6 lbs since last week. But I expected that with breakup food eating, ladies night drinking, and pub trivia night. I am usually really good at eating healthy for break fast and lunch, but then dinner sneaks up on me, and I make poor eating choices. I have birthday drinks with a friend tomorrow night, and I have decided that I will have club soda with lime, which will be low in calories, and less expensive for my wallet. I also have a friend coming into town on Saturday, and I think we'll be going out Saturday night so I will have to either workout more, or drink less alcohol on Saturday to balance things out.

At the moment I am making a veggie lasagna to have for dinner for the rest of the week. I'm trying to plan out my meals to try to do better this week than I did last week. Planning ahead always makes a difference for me. It's when I don't plan that I make bad choices and go off my plan.

Missed Weigh In But Back On The Wagon

So since I last posted I went out for Ladies Night and had a great time. I didn't eat well, and drank way too much. But it was a much needed release. I spent Sunday recovering unfortunately, it's amazing what not really drinking for 6 months and then going big one night will do to your body.

This morning 7:30 came very early, and I almost skipped going to the gym. BUT I DIDN'T! :) I got my butt out of bed, put on gym clothes, and got to my Body Pump class on time. I did forget to weigh in this morning, so I will do it tomorrow morning. I thought about lowering the amount of weight that I lift during that class since it's been about a month since I've been, but I decided to make my body work, and really feel the burn today. I actually upped my weight for the back and squat portion of the class. I really missed going to the gym, and especially this instructor, she is very funny, and helps you push through. During the class some parts really get your heart rate up and your cardio going, and when this happened I realized my lung capacity still wasn't all the way back from being sick. I was planning on running after the class, but decided against it. Maybe I'll try to run tomorrow. I'm glad that I went too because I got to talk to my friend Sirena which was nice.

I am also back on the healthy eating today. I just made some yummy nachos for lunch. I bought some fat free organic greek yogurt for the first time, and thought to use it on my nachos instead of sour cream. I added fresh garlic and cilantro to it, and a little water to make it thinner and dolloped it on the nachos, along with black beans, cheese, green onions, and salsa. It was very good! I've already planned out dinner, and am working on a menu for the rest of the week.

Happy Monday!

Jaime Oliver and Ladies Night Out

This morning "Jaime Oliver's Food Revolution" popped up in my Hulu Queue. A great way to start the day. I really support what he is trying to do in our schools, and really think it's horrible that LAUSD is banning him from even looking in their school kitchens. His show makes me want to add a Home Economics or PE credential to my credential. Or get a nutrition degree and work for school districts or the state to help our kids learn how to eat better. I wish that I had really been taught the importance of a healthy diet at a young age instead of having to  figure it out now. It would be great to start an after school program that teaches families and children how to cook healthily. I know for a lot of low income families it seems that a Little Caesars $5 pizza is a good deal to feed your family for dinner, but there are other inexpensive and quick ways to feed a family and all they would need is a little help.

As for me, I am finally feeling about 95% better. I still wasn't talking normal yesterday, but my throat is feeling loads better. I would love to start this upcoming week off with going to the gym, and I hope that I can. It's been way too long. But my body can only do what it can. I have been eating ok. I have had a pizza and ordered some Thai last night for dinner. But considering how I would have eaten while sick and after a break up before, I am pretty proud of myself. Before I would have driven through for dinner every night and gotten doughnuts for breakfast and just wallow. But I have kept the eating mostly in check.

Tonight I am headed out on the town for Second Saturday in Sacramento with at least two other fabulous ladies. I totally need this. I time to get dressed up, look good, go to dinner, walk around Sacramento looking at art and listening to music, grab some drinks, and be on the prowl for men. :)

Hopefully on Monday I will be able to report that I went to the gym!

Miserable Day

Yesterday was a miserable day for two main reasons. One, my boyfriend and I ended our relationship. And two,  and perhaps worst of all, my throat was on fire all day and I lost my voice again. So stupid. Gym is still on hold. My parents are very concerned that I have gotten "re-sick". My mom called last night to check in to see how I was doing post breakup, which was loving, but also was painful because of my throat. I think I am definitely more upset that I'm still sick and in pain and can't go to the gym than I am about the break up.

I wasn't very good eating yesterday, had a doughnut and some pizza. But the good news was that when I went shopping for some post break up retail therapy I bought two very cute dresses, some panties, and body scrub. Plus I walked around the mall for a couple of hours. At least I got some walking in. But I did log everything I ate even though seeing the calorie count on the pizza I ate was rough. But I'm keeping myself accountable even for the bad choices I'm making.

That is all, short and sweet. Just like me ;)

My Voice is Gone... Again :(

Yesterday was spent sipping tons of tea, upwards of 15 cups plus tons of water. My throat is still so sore and hurts to swallow. Even breathing is painful, it dries out my throat and then I have to swallow to moisten it, and swallowing hurts, it's a vicious cycle. Ever since I was younger colds settled in my throat, I've had strep more times than I can count, but still have my tonsils. I dont think it's strep this time, just irritated from coughing and losing my voice and trying to talk. It's annoying to still be 'sick' after two weeks. I'm taking all my daily supplements and drinking tons of fluids. Get out of my system already cold! My roommate got home last night from a weekend away, and when I opened my mouth to say welcome home, I was croaking again. :( I hadn't really talked all day, and now... my voice is on the fritz again! I really don't want to put off going to the gym anymore, but I really feel like I should. I don't want to be sick any longer than I already have been, and don't want to prolong my sickness by working out too hard. I've decided to put off the gym one more day... :(

Yesterday I registered for another 5k. "The Foot Pursuit 5k" to benefit local law enforcement in Sacramento. It's on the 18th so I have a while to get better, run more, and hopefully run it in under 46 min. I have started a nice little collection of running bibs and event shirts. I have made a list of runs that I want to do through the end of the year. I have also added up the cost of all of them, and it comes to about $300. A lot when you think about it (especially on my limited unemployment budget), because you mostly get just a cotton t-shirt from them, but what I get is so much more. My health, a sense of accomplishment, a goal to work towards, and reminders of all the hard work I have put into my health.

Last night I watched the second episode of Extreme Makeover: Body Edition. A 23 year old boy weighed in at over 500 lbs, and worked for a year to lose as much as he could. I can't get enough of people getting in shape, it is so inspiring! My favorite thing he said is getting into "beast mode" while working out. I can't wait to be able to get into beast mode again at the gym! But it will have to wait until my throat feels better.

Monday Weigh In and Body Image

I did my Monday weigh in today and didn't lose anything since Wednesday. I'm totally ok with that because I ate three meals out since then, and didn't make the best choices. I had wanted to go to the gym this morning at 9am but woke up with a killer sore throat. I'm not sure if it was running yesterday and breathing in cold air, or I irritated my already sore throat by doing that or coughing, but I didn't feel like going to the gym. I can barely swallow. I really just want to feel completely better!!!! :( There is a Body Pump class tonight at 5:30 followed by a 15 min ab class, and Pilates later on tonight. I will see how today goes and how I'm feeling. I also just got word that one of my friends went into labor this morning and would like me to come visit, but I'm not sure going to the hospital would be good with me having been sick.

Totally changing gears. A little while ago my roommate and I had a discussion about changing our thoughts on our body image. She has lost about 40 lbs, and she looks amazing. We were talking about how even though we are both down 40 lbs, we still look in the mirror and see the same thing that we did before we lost the weight. Most of the time I'll still look in the mirror and see no changes in my body. It's because I look at it all day everyday and don't see the changes like someone who hasn't seen you in 5 months. When I see people who haven't seen me in awhile say that I'm looking great. But I only half believe it because I still have a distorted body image of myself. I'm not writing this soliciting positive comments or anything, just sharing my thoughts on working to change how I view myself.

I know my body has changed because I have dropped 2-3 pant sizes and can't fit in any of the clothes that I did at the beginning of the year. I have actually gotten rid of most of the clothes that I had in January. In both of the photo's below I don't have the clothes I'm wearing in the 'fat' photos, so that does mean something. I'm not sure if there will be a turning point in when I will really start to realize that I have really made a difference. I'm fairly certain it will have to do with clothes, feeling comfortable in a bikini, being able to walk into any store and can fit into anything, being able to fit into Victoria Secret Bras, I don't know what it will be, but I would love to be able to really see the change for myself. :)

Right: May 2010, Left: June 2011

Right: December 2010, Left: May 2011

Women's Fitness Festival 5k

I ended up not going out last night, which was a great idea, because 6am came very early. Got up had a healthy (but light) breakfast of a banana and an english muffin with almond butter and hopped in the car to head to the capital to do some running... in the rain :(

Women's Fitness Festival

When I got there everything was all set up and looking good, but it was still raining. The booths that were set up were ok, a booth for Luna bars, the half marathon I want to do, California Family Fitness Gym, a shoe insole guy, a boxing studio and some other random ones. The Nike booth was smaller than I thought it would be, and nothing was on sale :( But that's ok. Kaiser had a booth in which they measured you % body fat. Mine was 43.8% and it said I had 102 lbs of fat mass. The acceptable % fat for women that they recommend is 31%, so I've got a ways to go. My body bugg calculates that my body fat percentage is 37.9%. It's good to have another calculation for reference.

Me before second 5k

When the race was about to start it stopped raining! I took off my zippy and ran in just the t-shirt. Mile one went well, hit it at about 14 min. We ran right by my apartment which I thought was funny. Mile 2 came about 15 minutes later, but around 2.5 miles I had a coughing fit, and decided to slow it down a bit. I walked for a bit. I had loaded 60 minutes of songs into a playlist to run to. I found out when 46 minutes (my last race time) would be and what song would be playing so I would know how I was doing. When that song came on I could see the mile 3 marker, and knew I wasn't going to beat my time, but that was fine with me seeing how sick I was last week. I sped up a bit and passed the 3 mile marker and could see the finish line. I ran it all the way out through the finish at 48:40 (UPDATE: official time 48:28). Only two minutes slower than my last time. I am very pleased with that time having been sick. I will definitely try to better my time next race, and I hope I can do it 100% healthy. Over all a very good day/race.

I think I might nap for a bit today. 6am mornings are rough.

I am excited/nervous to weigh in legitimately tomorrow morning before heading off to the gym! Hope that it's good news. :)

Day With Old Friends

Yesterday's Caloric Results

• Calories Burned: 2075 (Goal 2500)
• Calories Consumed: 1619 (Goal 1500)
• Caloric Deficit: 456 (Goal 1000)
• Steps: 1881(Goal 10000)

Today I spent the day hanging with an old friend Thomas. Although we didn't really do anything but watch TV and hang  it was nice catching up. We ended up going to Ink, a bar around the corner from my place. Bars aren't the best place to get healthy food, but I ended up getting a shrimp quesadilla. I asked for light cheese to try to be better, but the waitress told me that was the only item that was made ahead of time and can't be altered. It made me question what the hell I was about to get. A premade, frozen quesadilla? When it came, it looked like a freshly made item. It had onions, spinach, cheese, and shrimp in it. It was pretty good. I tried to take out some cheese to make it a bit better. Thomas and I also couldn't resist the $5 top shelf cocktail board, so we each got one. I got a Mojito. It was very yummy.


After I dropped him off I met up with my friend Christina for dinner. I chose to go to Jonny Carino's, my favorite Italian restaurant. I was 'bad' and got a pasta dish with a creamy sauce and ate more fresh bread than I should have. But it was super yummy, and I ate a healthy breakfast, and an ok lunch, so I feel fine with splurging  on this meal. Christina and I then went to Old Navy near by to look at some clothes. I ended up getting two tank tops (in large!, Yay, good bye XLarge forever!).


Thomas and some friends are heading downtown tonight for some drinks, and I think I might hang out, but have decided to drink only soda water with lime tonight because I want to be fresh and ready for my run tomorrow! It's suppose to rain tomorrow, which won't be any fun to run in, but I am looking forward to the race all the same!

Looking Ahead, New October Goals

Yesterday's Caloric Results

• Calories Burned: 2163 (Goal 2500)
• Calories Consumed: 1615 (Goal 1500)
• Caloric Deficit: 548 (Goal 1000)
• Steps: 2645 (Goal 10000)

 Last night I had a talk with my roommate about how we both need to get back on the health wagon. I am itching to go to the gym soooo bad. But I am still talking with a croak in my voice and having the occasional coughing fit, so I will be putting off the gym until Monday at 9am when I will do a Body Pump class at 24 Hour Fitness with my favorite instructor Cathie!

I have a family wedding in early October and am making that my next big goal date to work towards. My roommate and I were discussing how much I could potentially lose by then. If I lose 2 lbs a week every week until the wedding (which will be hard work, but doable) I could lose 34lbs. So I have made that my goal, kind of lofty and leaves little room for error, but it is a challenge I'm going to take.

I also woke up this morning craving a doughnut. Bad Bad Bad. But I resisted the temptation to go to Safeway and pick one up. Though I did go to Safeway though to get pasta sauce, tilapia, some Lean Cuisines for when I don't feel like cooking to save me from getting take out, and I did get a bagel for breakfast. A better choice than a doughnut.

Waterfront Bistro Pineapple Salsa Fish Finishing Sauce (Addicting!), Direct Center. I have tried the Wasabi one, very sweet and not enough spicy. I would love to try the Cajun Remoulade and the Citrus Mustard.

I just finished having lunch, tilapia and salad. I bought some coconut crusted tilapia in the fresh seafood section of Safeway by Sea Cuisine. It was super yummy! I gave it a little extra broil in the oven to get it super crispy. I added Waterfront Bistro Pineapple Salsa Finishing Sauce to the top of the fillet (from Safeway as well. I am addicted to it, I add it to the top of almost all my fish). I also had the Trader Joe's Soy Ginger Asian Salad Dressing, and I'm not a huge fan. I hate buying new dressings because if you don't like it you have a whole stupid bottle. I hate throwing them away because some bottles are around $4 and I just can't justify throwing that away. My fridge and it looks like I'm feeding a colony of rabbits or something, two bags of lettuce, a bag of spinach, two celery hearts, and a bag of shredded carrots! :) Another healthy eating day almost complete!

Back in The Swing of it

I slept amazing last night in my own bed last night. It's so nice to be home and back to my normal routine. I woke up this morning and went downstairs to make breakfast, a one egg one egg white omelet with cheese, canadian bacon, spinach and a banana on the side. I chopped up the canadian bacon and pan fried it (no oil), added some fresh baby spinach wilted it down. Then made my omelet (with a little olive oil to help with the sticking), added everything to the middle, and sprinkled with green onions. I also had a V8 fusion to go with it. Calorie Count: 374

I also hopped on the scale today to do a quick check in to see what damage I had done over my two week vacation by not being able to workout and didn't eat all that great. But when I hoped on I found I had lost .6 lbs! Amazing.

I then set off to pick up my race packet from Fleet Feet in Sacramento for my 5k this Sunday for the Women's Fitness Festival. I received a reusable bag, a water bottle, a packet of coffee from Java City, a Luna bar, coupons for Whole Foods, and best of all a Nike DryFit running shirt. It is a very nice shirt to get for a race, not just a cotton one. I am looking forward to going to the Kaiser Permanente "Thrive Pavilion" (aka big booth) where they are conducting blood pressure and body fat testing.

While I was at Fleet Feet they had a lot of flyers for other upcoming runs. My roommate and I have been looking for a half marathon to do sometime late this year, and I think we found one. The Urban Cow Half Marathon in Sacramento that benefits the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society on October 2nd.

Lunch was a Trader Joe's Tofu Spring Roll, with nachos on the side. Used the Trader Joe's Black Bean Dip on the nachos and didn't like it. It was very vinegary. But might be good with some sour cream or something but I didn't like it plain. Also I am super happy to be using my digital food scale again. It's really nice to make sure you are getting exact servings instead of just eyeballing it. Calorie Count: 575

After lunch and before dinner I was a little hungry so I had a small bowl of cereal. I also decided I'm still not feeling up to going to the gym. I'd rather try to make a real go at the run on Sunday, so I've decided not to go. :( Which makes me sad, but it will be better in the long run. For dinner I had an Asian inspired salad with a soy ginger dressing, slivered almonds, and mandarin orange slices and a piece of baked turbot with pineapple salsa and brown rice cake. Calorie Count: 326

For 'dessert' I had a chocolate protein shake and a 100 calorie pack of popcorn. Calorie Count: 210